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9 Essential Tips For Dating When You’re In Your 30s

The older we get the more our age can come off as a shock for us. Some more so than others as some of us realize that we’re still single. And while this realization may cause us to get back into dating, there is one thing that you should know: dating when you’re older is […]

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The older we get the more our age can come off as a shock for us. Some more so than others as some of us realize that we’re still single. And while this realization may cause us to get back into dating, there is one thing that you should know: dating when you’re older is different than dating when you were younger.

Since your last attempt at dating, you probably have more baggage you’re carrying and your field is narrower. Chances are also likely a lot of people in your inner circle are already married, so you may feel pressure from there. Not to mention pushing yourself to interact with people outside of your initial circle.

With all of this in mind, here are some essential tips to keep in mind for future dates and dating attempts.

 

Focus On Enjoying Yourself

When we get older, we often dwell on the things that we don’t have yet. Some of us expect to be married, have kids, a nice house, and a stable income, but that’s not always going to be the case.

Wanting those things in our lives is okay and all, but if we focus so much on what we don’t have, we can forget what we do have in our lives. This applies to dating as we can also imagine our ideal soulmate rather than who that person actually is.

Instead of imagining all of that, devote time to enjoying yourself and getting to know the person more. Dating should be a fun experience regardless of how old you are.

 

 

Remind Yourself That Age Is Only A Number

Just because you’re older you may think that only people within your age group will be the only ones interested in you. But that’s not always the case.

People can find love regardless of age and sometimes younger individuals can see the appeal in dating or marrying older individuals.

They’re wiser, have gone through life longer and have experienced more with life.

At the end of the day, remind yourself that age is a number and focus more on people’s personalities.

 

 

Move Away From The Past

On the same vein as age, it’s important that we’re not caught up in the past. This means rethinking our attitude towards age, but also letting go of past mistakes. We’ve no doubt had some rocky relationships and have experienced heartbreak.

The key is to let all of that go and not let it get to you. By this point in our lives, we probably have a skeleton or two in our closet anyway. The point is why should that matter now?

Prioritize the present and look forward to what is developing and happening next.

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Health

5 Things That Could Cause Women To Have Night Sweats

We all like to get some sleep, but how many of us would like to wake up in the middle of the night drowning in our own sweat? That’ll be a scary experience, but it shouldn’t be because it can be avoided, most of the time. Most night sweats are caused by the type of […]

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We all like to get some sleep, but how many of us would like to wake up in the middle of the night drowning in our own sweat? That’ll be a scary experience, but it shouldn’t be because it can be avoided, most of the time.

Most night sweats are caused by the type of fabric your sheets and pajamas are made out of. Sometimes they just happen because you sleep in a hot room. Sweaty nights can also serve as a signal that you have a serious health issue according to Neomi Shah who’s a doctor and an associate professor.

1. You sleep in a room that’s too hot

Is there a perfect temperature for my room? Yes, there is, anything higher than 60 to 70 degrees Fahrenheit is too hot according to the sleep specialist W.C Winter, M.D. Another thing that could make you hot and sweaty while you sleep is that you sleep in thick fabrics like flannel.

Cotton is the perfect substitute for flannel, and you easily get cotton pajamas and sheets. Being too hot can also impede your ability to fall asleep.

2. You just sweat a lot

In this case, we aren’t talking about normal sweating. We are talking about an excessive sweating disorder called hyperhidrosis. The American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) says that this disorder makes a person sweat unnecessarily, even when they’re asleep.

The AAD says that hyperhidrosis is different from normal sweating in that it targets specific parts of your body with more of a focus on your feet, head, palms, and underarms. The AAD also said that hyperhidrosis could make simple activities like using your phone an uphill struggle.

3.  A ghost could be chasing you

We aren’t talking about an actual ghost, but if you’re having a nightmare, you’re most likely to wake up drenched in sweat. Harry Banshick, a doctor, says that you end up sweating because you physically acted out what happened in that nightmare.

Shah agrees with this and says that anything that triggers a sympathetic surge (flight-fight response) can make you sweat. If you’ve been suffering from nightmares, you’re most likely suffering from stress and seeing your doctor would be very prudent.

4. You may be experiencing hormonal changes

Fluctuating estrogen levels are usually the culprit when it comes to night sweats experienced by women. According to Nandi, hot flushes and menopause have usually emerged hand in hand in her patients, and that made them sweat at night.

Shah also said that hormone fluctuations in pregnant women or those on their period could lead to sweat-drenched nights. However, night sweats seem more persistent amongst women going through menopause.

5. Antidepressants

According to Shah, people on antidepressants are the most likely to get victimized by night sweats. Shah says this type of medication is capable of triggering an adrenergic reaction, that means it’s got something to do with your adrenaline levels, and that also means you’re going to sweat.

Night sweats will be more frequent if you take venlafaxine or bupropion, but doctors could prescribe medication that can slow down your adrenergic output.

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Lifestyle

Can Social Media Really Cause Depression?

The platforms have been abuzz recently with stories about social media causing depression and anxiety. Could this be possible, and, if so, could it be bad for your health? Is this a doomsday story being played out there, scare-mongering your child, or even yourself, into giving up social media? While social media can and does […]

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The platforms have been abuzz recently with stories about social media causing depression and anxiety. Could this be possible, and, if so, could it be bad for your health?

Is this a doomsday story being played out there, scare-mongering your child, or even yourself, into giving up social media? While social media can and does produce addiction in many people, and if being apart from your cellphone or tablet (and the closest wi-fi) brings separation anxiety, so be it.

It could also cause mild depression and a feeling of missing out, but these are not long-lasting effects, a large study conducted in Canada found.

Two study groups

The study results, published in Clinical Psychological Science, focused on two groups over a period of two years. One group was made up of 594 adolescents in the sixth, seventh and eighth grades in Ontario, Canada, and the other group was comprised of 1 132 undergraduate students.

The older group was surveyed for six years, starting in their first year of university. The questions revolved around the total time that was spent on social media on weekdays and weekends, and what time was allocated to other pursuits such as looking at television, putting in some exercise and academic studies.

Both groups were considered for depressive symptoms using scales appropriate for each group. The researchers then assessed the data, which was divided into age and sex.

They found that social media did not lead to depressive symptoms later. This was the finding for both groups.

Later social media use

In the adolescent group, the researchers found that females were triggered for later social media use following unrelated depression or anxiety.

The research found that this sub-set “who are feeling down may turn to social media to try and make themselves feel better.”

Study author Taylor Heffer says: When parents read media headlines such as ‘Facebook Depression,’ there is an inherent assumption that social media use leads to depression. Policymakers also have recently been debating ways to tackle the effects of social media use on mental health.”

A lot depends on the type of personality that is using – or abusing – social media. The study notes that some young people could use it negatively for abusive behavior such as bullying or stalking, while others would use it merely to stay in contact with friends and family, or for academic research.

Further work needed

The study concludes that further work needs to be undertaken involving authorities, medical experts and parents in determining what could be done to steer users away from using social media negatively.

Social media platforms such as Facebook can and has, indeed, played a role with depression and loneliness. Lifestyles today are frenetic and isolationist, encouraged by the various social media platforms that make people isolationist.

Noticed how much time your youngsters spend on Facebook and playing games? A lot, you say, exasperated. Noticed how much time they spend texting or on Instagram? Too much, you say.

It’s the new normal. Not a lot you can do to change that.

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Lifestyle

7 Surefire Signs You Have A Committed Partner

Relationships are a mixed bag. They are the most fulfilling things in the world, and yet they are the hardest things to maintain and grow. Everyone has such different expectations from relationships and their partners to the point it’s tough. It’s truly a balancing act. The first week of dating someone can be surreal, but […]

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Relationships are a mixed bag. They are the most fulfilling things in the world, and yet they are the hardest things to maintain and grow. Everyone has such different expectations from relationships and their partners to the point it’s tough. It’s truly a balancing act.

The first week of dating someone can be surreal, but it can lead to more questions later on down the road. Some of the most important questions stem from commitment.

But in order to determine how committed someone is, it’s not always about asking a question straight up. In many cases, it’s having serious conversations about some of the tougher subjects with your partner. It’s understanding what committed means to one another and making sure that it aligns.

One example of commitment to one person can be believing in polygamy or having open relationships. For others it can be being honest about sexual partners and no such much sexual exclusivity.

It’s key that you are clear about those definitions. After all, a difference in what commitment is means that there will be a difference in behaviour. What they’ll accept and refuse in regards to a relationship. This can lead to conflict unless you sit down and have those tougher and uncomfortable conversations.

But once that conversation is had and you’re okay with what’s being said, there are some other distinct signs that you have a committed partner.

 

The Partner Is Meeting Your Needs

Similar to the Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs, there are specific conditions that people need to meet in order to feel love. These have been dubbed as love language, which is more or less an explanation to the needs people have for affection.

Of course there are other needs that people have, but the key here is that the relationship that committed partners have is enough to satisfy those needs. Whatever the needs are – whether they are sex to financial support – as long as they are met, there is good odds that they will be committed to the relationship.

This avenue is also pretty good in ensuring the relationship remains stable. After all, it’s a matter of asking your partner what they are looking to gain from being with you. Once you know that, it’s a matter of ensuring those needs are met.

 

 

They See And Portray You Positively

Those who are committed to relationships are going to be the people who will talk highly about their partner. By no means are they oblivious to the flaws their partner has, but they embrace the positive side and talk more about that than bothering about the negatives.

This can be to the point where some people can become delusional over their partners, but as long as the flaws aren’t any serious concern, they will stay happy in the relationships they have.

 

 

Speaking In “We”s

One way that you can tell the difference between someone who is single and one who is in a committed relationship is how they speak. We already mentioned that they’ll highlight a lot of the positive things in their loved one, but one other is the use of the word “we.”

When someone is in a committed relationship they will do anything to slip that word into their responses. Instead of responding with “I”, they will often turn to “we”. For example, instead of saying “I took the dogs on a hike this weekend,” they’ll say “We took the dogs on a hike this weekend.”

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